i think my mom watched the whole time
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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