Banned from zoo.
Again?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
