yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
