I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
