idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
