haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
