just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
