Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
