I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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