I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize