BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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