giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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