She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
