Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
