well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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