I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
