I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize