i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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