i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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