he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
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