Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
