I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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