Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You pole danced in your parka.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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