We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
