you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize