theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
