even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
