Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
