Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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