i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
