Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
