Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
