Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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