I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
