Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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