She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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