He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
