you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
