If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
