Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
