What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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