We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
