he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
