high people should be assigned attendants
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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