Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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