sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
