am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize