My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
