I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
