What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
