when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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