If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
