You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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