Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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