Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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