he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
