once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
