I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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