Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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