Plan B is the new Plan A
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
