Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
