so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
vagina is talking i cant
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Randomize
