is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
