girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
