At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
