You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize