Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
