So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
