KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
