She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
