South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
