I'm eating all of the evidence.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
