Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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